This just in from Engadget: Florida’s GPS-enabled baby Jesus was reported missing from the nativity scene recently, giving authorities a chance to try out their eye in the sky. The stolen Savior was found at a home across the street from his pimped-out tech manger, and an 18-year-old female was arrested for Lord-lifting.
So, to recap:
GPS tech: $400
Bail for Son-stealing: $3,500
A rescued Christmas and tech that works: priceless
“Hello, this is OnStar, how may I save you, my child?”
Tired of annual Jesus-jacking, a Florida community has decided to fight back by installing GPS on the main players of the nativity scene. The extra security was the only step available, since bolting down the statues last year still allowed someone to whisk away the tiny Savior with amazing grace. Jesus won’t be the only one tracked wherever he goes; Mary and Joseph will also have those silent blinks in the night. The top holiday celebrity family also will have a plexiglas wall separating them from the riffraff, just in case. No word yet on whether Britney’s former bodyguard will be available to Mary, Little J and J-Pa, but Santa might want to take notice; he’s not the only one who can know if you’re bad or good, or if you’ve been spirited away for a holiday trip to the islands.