Police blotter, Aussie-style:
A man reported a cocky crocodile making threatening motions at him at a boat ramp on Thursday afternoon, November first, and immediately reported the reptile to the police. An APB was put out for the leathery felon, and people were warned to stay away from the boat ramp, in case the croc returned to the scene, although no word of any sketches being distributed of the alleged attacker. Witnesses reported that the scaly snapper had been lurking around the Gove Yacht Club boat ramp before, perhaps because the club itself has a strict policy against giant predators (which doesn’t make sense if they allow politicians). Two rangers pursued the suspect that night in a reportedly low-speed chase. Suspect was harpooned, then detained without hearing his rights, and it couldn’t talk to its lawyer because its’ jaws were taped shut.
One of the ‘arresting’ officers did say that the croc did its best to not be caught, but came along quietly in the end. No comment was made on whether the crotchety croc already had a record.
The crocodile did a night in the can, behind bars, and was also hosed down several times during the night, to keep him from drying up. The next day, the suspect was found guilty of loitering with intent and transported to the nearest crocodile farm. The rangers stated that he was a big male, so let’s just hope he didn’t end up in a pool with a bigger croc named Bubba.