Stewardess has Wonka-esque ticket to ride

What would be better than scoring the last Golden Ticket into Willy Wonka’s fictional candy factory? Try a real-life ticket to space, the final frontier, for one French ‘air hostess.’ (Sorry, but that brings Twinkies to mind; let’s stick with stewardess, just for retro fun.)

The hungry sky worker grabbed a Kit Kat bar at a local French supermarket and snarfed down the chocolate, not thinking about Nestle’s space race contest until the sugar high wore off. A couple of hours later, she returned to the scene of the snack, and found the winning wrapper in the refuse. The ticket wins her a seat on the Rocketplane XP, part of an developing project to bring economical space travel to the masses—because we as a species have apparently already achieved cheap, comfortable, punctual air travel here on earth.

The high-flying choco-fan also receives several days of training like an astronaut in Oklahoma City, which may be more of a culture shock for her than the actual trip into space. Let’s just hope when she gets to claim her final prize, she overcomes the urge to make sure everyone is strapped in securely with their cell phones turned off.

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‘Sauced’ burglar drenched in BBQ camouflage

One Wisconsin burglar had more than sticky fingers when he broke into a family’s home recently–he was discovered in the basement, inexplicably drenched in BBQ sauce. The residents heard the cookout-ready crook whistling down below, which drew the attention–and the firepower–of the homeowner, who kept a shotgun trained on the painted perp until police arrived and questioned his edible attire. The suspect’s saucy response stated he was covered in ‘urban camouflage,’ since he was ‘on the run from the government.’ Perhaps he’s on to something: somewhere in a distant land, tucked away in a cave, Osama bin Laden may be covered in KC Masterpiece sauce. Paging Hannibal Lecter!

Actually, yes, Jesus IS my co-pilot

A pair of panicky New Zealand pilots landed on prayer power when the fuel in their ultralight plane ran out during a recent flight. The plane quickly became gravity’s plaything, and both Christian flyers started sending out SOS signals to the Big Air Traffic Controller Upstairs, praying for a landing spot that was past an upcoming and dangerous ridge, yet not in the sea. They received their answer when a small airfield suddenly came into view, and the duo landed their craft safely on a grassy strip of land. Lest they forget who supplied the soft landing, the small plane finally stopped next to a 20-foot reminder: a very large sign that stated ‘Jesus is Lord.’

Even the Big Guy knows it pays to advertise.

Aussie busted for beer buckling, boy bouncing

Americans are definitely trend-setters, even when it’s wrong: just a few short months ago, the Weird Its monkeys popped open the story of a Florida woman who strapped in her beer, but not her baby. Now, an Australian man has been fined for securely belting in a 30-can case of brew in the back seat between two adults, but leaving a five-year-old boy loose in the vehicle’s rear floor.

The man was fined $750 for driving an uninsured car and failing to make sure the child was wearing a seat belt.

In the AP story, the arresting officer claimed that this was the first time he had ever seen the safety of booze considered over the well-being of children. Hmm, must be new on the force.

Science strikes again: people love doughnuts

Mmmm, doughnuts.

Next time you feel that you simply can’t resist one of those fluffy, sweet delights, science has your back. During a recent study at Northwestern University in Chicago, scientists discovered that volunteers’ MRI scans lit up like the ‘hot’ sign at a Krispy Kreme when shown pictures of doughnuts, but didn’t have the same reaction when shown pictures of everyday items like a hammer, which isn’t nearly as tempting when covered in icing and sprinkles. After the subjects had a chance to pig out on the sugary treats, their brains no longer responded in the same way. Scientists determined that the brain is easily able to determine relevant needs, and even reacts to the fulfillment of those needs.

So whether you react to a yummy plate of doughnuts or a killer grizzly loose in the office, it’s all in your head, literally.