Weenie witchcraft feared at hands of Congo conjurers

From the lame excuses department:

Peen panic has the capital of Congo in its grip, as men fear that local sorcerers have been magically snatching salamis all across the city. Rumors of conjurers shrinking or making their manhood disappear completely have males clutching

their members in Kinshasa, although they apparently let go long enough to attempt lynchings of several suspected willy-takers.

Some alleged victims of the cursing have gone to the police, and although officials try to assure them that their family jewels are safe, victims insist that their packages have shrunk or refuse to work. According to the Reuters story, one policeman even told the victims, “How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it?”

Without hard evidence, the cases remain unhandled, and the purported causes of the scare range from extortion to politics.

Sounds like one Viagra airdrop would swell the ranks and deflate the whole ding-dong dilemma.

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5 responses to “Weenie witchcraft feared at hands of Congo conjurers

  1. Well I guess you got to the long and the short of it. I saw that report, and one of the things that struck me was the superstition that the afflicted could get it from a handshake. Now there’s a whole new meaning for getting a hand-job. Great post. ROTFLMAO. Well handled!

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