It’s the fuzz! Hide the castle!

South of London, a man’s home may be his castle, but his castle can’t be his home. A farmer built his own mock-Tudor castle, complete with turrets, and didn’t bother getting any of those pesky building permits. His solution? Keep the home hidden behind the hay. A front wall of hay bales kept the castle from prying eyes for four long years, until neighbors became suspicious, and clued in authorities to storm the castle, which was also rumored to have a cannon.

The farmer and his family were hoping to keep the structure concealed for four years; after that time, according to planning laws, a building constructed without permission may stay up if no objections have been submitted. Hiding the castle so no one could see it doesn’t count, said one official.

The authorities want the castle demolished, along with the other structures built by the industrious farmer: a conservatory, bridge, patio, and a race course. A February hearing will settle the matter. Until then, one has to wonder, how did the farmer have time to grow anything?

Plus-size panties put out fire

Feeling a little bloated after the holidays? Take comfort that those granny panties could save a life, just like the extra-roomy bloomers of a London woman. The lady’s lingerie was the first thing her nephew grabbed out of the laundry when their breakfast went up in flames, according to officials. The nephew ran the underwear under the faucet, then flopped them over the flames, which put the fire out.

The grateful woman was glad no one was hurt, and also pleased that her ‘knickers saved the day,’ although the heroic hotpants were badly damaged in the line of duty. Bet someone’s getting new underwear for their birthday!