Helpful reality hint #57: Dressing for success doesn’t include Ranch. A man was prevented from boarding a plane at Dallas/Ft. Worth when he was discovered sitting on an American Eagle jet bridge, wearing one shoe, unable to stand up or speak clearly, and covered in salad dressing. Quick to catch on that something wasn’t right, authorities arrested the toasty tippler on suspicion of public intoxication after he admitted to tossing back some vodka with his greens at an airport restaurant; the dressing makeover was courtesy of a food box he held, most likely empty at the time of arrest since he and the jet bridge were both decorated with its contents. Although the sticky salad impersonator obviously didn’t think his travel plans through, he still gets security points for having at least one shoe off, and his carry-on gels clearly visible…all over his clothes.