And you thought your parents were embarrassing! A Wisconsin woman was charged with a felony count of exposing a child to harmful descriptions after she allegedly had a little-too-frank talk about the birds and bees with her two sons, ages 12 and 16. Apparently, the woman had described some of her own experiences, and showed them an adult appliance that usually arrives in a brown paper wrapper. The chat came to light after the boys were in counseling a year later (for an apparently unrelated reason) and one told authorities that the talk wasn’t appropriate. The woman accepted a plea deal with a misdemeanor charge to spare her sons from testifying during a trial, but insisted that she hadn’t done anything wrong, and her talk with the offspring was legit as free speech within the family, intended as educational.
Appropriate or not, the mother forgot the basic rule of such matters: kids sneak around and find your personal stuff in drawers, then embarrass you with it, not the other way around. So, future note to parents: don’t tell the kids about your ‘Girls Gone Wild’ days, or those crazy nights partying while listening to Duran Duran. Stick to the health class textbook, and tell them that their parents sleep in separate beds, just like the folks on Nick at Nite. And that sound you hear? That’s thousands of parents installing locks on the nightstand drawer.