News flashes of the blinding obvious

Ow ow ow! It’s time for a flash of the obvious, so put on those sunglasses now.

A new study has just revealed that dogs who bite kids may be irritable, afraid of loud noises, feel territorial or don’t like to be touched (especially by bratty kids). Do we really need a study to prove this? Since when did the phrase ‘Don’t bother the dog’ escape the parenting lexicon, leaving behind such gems as ‘Don’t stick your finger in that outlet,’ ‘Don’t pick up something from the floor and put it in your mouth,’ and ‘Don’t take those postage stamps and re-paper the dining room wall’ (sorry, personal experience creeping in there).

Basically, life is not a Disney movie, and all dogs don’t love kids, which is why they get bit. There, I’ve just saved the scientific community thousands of dollars.

But really, we’ve had an epidemic of contradicting and obvious information lately. Did you know that men prefer good-looking women? That made CNN, even though the study was done with a handful of people in Germany while they attended speed-dating. Sort of like a scientist following the girls in ‘Sex and the City’ around for a few nights, then declaring that women prefer a longer relationship with shoes than men.  I remember a while back that someone actually did a study on why prisoners want to escape prison. Are the scientists in today’s world just bored, jaded, or broken in spirit to go after the big discoveries anymore? We still have diseases that need curing, mysteries that need solving.  Why do people believe that soap opera characters are real? Why do so many prefer style over substance? Why do people watch televised wrestling? Did all of the staff writers at the now-defunct Weekly World News go to work at Fox?

The answers are out there, and inquiring minds want to know.


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